Another broken "promise"

I apologize for not posting a picture. Long story, I couldn't find the electronic device necessary to connect my camera to the computer.

I had intended to do a lot of things today. For example, post a picture of me all glowing and perfectly coiffed as we arrived at the hospital to deliver baby #5! Next I intended to post a picture of aforementioned baby NEXT to that picture. Alas, the "on again, off again" thing with this pregnancy continues....

The good news is, she appears to be healthy, and unlike 24 hours ago, head DOWN in the launch position. Bad news, she failed her amnio and her lungs are not developed enough to deliver, even if I am 38 1/2 weeks. Also, I now get to call pretty much everyone I've ever met and tell them, uh, no, we HAVEN'T "had that baby yet", all those appointments etc. I canceled today and tomorrow, even some next week, they're back ON again. In fact, I may go all the way to June 2nd now, even if MIL leaves on June 5th.

SOOOOO, in the spirit of gratitude, here is a list of things to be GLAD about today:

1. She appears to be healthy, just not fully cooked. (My womb is no convection oven)
2. Jared got the day off.
3. Someone else is still bringing dinner.
4. I got to go to a 'kid free' lunch with Jared.
5. I got to forget my diabetes rules last night and this morning and gorge on glorious, non- complex carbs.
6. I am using my MIL as a babysitter this weekend so I can go to a hotel with Jared and do NOTHING but relax.
6. My regular Dr. will be back in town for the delivery. (We think....)
7. After months of not, I found the motivation to shave my legs this morning.
8. I can finish the basement before she gets here

8.

Tantrum

Ok, so it's been an inexcuseably long time since I posted. It just seems that everytime I think about it I am far too tired to do it, or so crabby that I'm scared I'll come off like the raving madwoman I am. But, feeling both tired and crabby, here's an update.

The first, most urgent news on my mind is the latest from my Dr. appt. I am now 37 1/2 weeks, and for the last 3 weeks he has told me that between the diabetes and the baby being breech for a while (no longer, thanks to a not-pain-free turning) that I would be induced by the 24th of May. (Saturday of Memorial Day weekend) He assured us that he was working that weekend and that we could safely buy my mother in law's plane ticket for that date.

Well, apparently, his schedule changed. Now, things look SO good with the baby and me, that they will NOT induce until FIVE days later, on the 29th of May.

Sooo, it looks like we can all just "hang out" and wait for the baby while MIL is here. Please, don't try to console me with "maybe you'll go early" type sentiments. My womb is apparently like the Ritz Carlton, and each baby is extremly resistant to leaving, even being 10 days late and drugged with pitocin. Besides, I'll be 39 weeks at that time anyway, so that already IS early.

Just not as early as I'd finally allowed myself to believe. You know how it is when you've promised your kids something, and promised, and promised, and then when it comes time to deliver (no pun intended) you realize, "Oh, crap, this really WON'T work today!" and you have to tell them so? You know that fit you see them throw? Well, that's me today.

Lucky for Jared he's been out of town for 3 of the last 4 weeks. Pregnancy and I just do NOT like each other much the last 4 weeks.

A battle weary soldier

Okay, so tomorrow is our 3rd IEP meeting (Intervention Education Plan) on Spencer's behalf at the school. We are FINALLY going to discuss results from testing we requested last OCTOBER. I have spent a few HOURS today gathering materials that relate to the findings from his testing to try to persuade the school exactly what course of action needs to happen next. Of course, I have been working with him at home since October doing precisely what we are now going to request them to do at school (as a reinforcement). Which means, that I, and our advocate Elaine via conference call, will be in so many words, telling them how to do their job.

That should go over well, don't you think?

It makes me very, very sad to think how many parents there are out there who do not have an Aunt who happens to be a reading expert to help them navigate the disaster of special ed in public schools. I think that it is the only reason I am bothering even talking to these people tomorrow, in hopes that maybe they will see that they don't really know HOW to help kids like Spencer. It's almost like talking to a group of "experts" who insist that the world is really flat, in the face of mountains of evidence that point to the contrary.

But, I have Spencer and his progress as evidence that what we are doing works, and works wonders. I could not be prouder of how hard he works everyday, and how far he has come this year. I'm ready to just forget about the "experts" and fix the problem myself. How sad it is.

I'll update how it goes after the meeting. In the meantime, I better get some rest so I don't just "lose it" in our meeting. Diplomacy is really Jared's strongpoint. Unfortunately, the (relative) expertise in the subject is mine! I figure Heavenly Father is teaching me how to be better at not offending people. That is as difficult for me as the short vowel sound of /i/ is for Spencer!

"Advanced Maternal Age"

Warning: May contain hormone infused statements

I always hate posting without any pictures, but given the topic, I am truly NOT going to posts pictures related to it. (It's bad enough to see video of pregnant me)

Why is it that in "the world" it is generally acceptable to be at least 35 years old before you begin to bear children, with 40 really being the age that is celebrated? I see all these women on Oprah who feel "glorious" and "alive", looking "radiant". Everyone thinks its just spectacular that they have waited until "the time was right" for them to have "a child". You get the idea that maybe you've missed something by starting in your 20's.

So why is it, that during EVERY Dr.'s appointment this pregnancy, it is pointed out to me that I am of "advanced maternal age", and there are all these extra, unpleasant things that the Yahoo's on Oprah never mentioned? Truly, I have never felt like such an old woman in my life, and this from someone who was mistakenly called 17 when I was 14, 23 when I was 18, and 30 when I was 25. Maybe I have that disease where you age remarkably fast and nobody's ever told me? (Remember that movie with Ralph Maccio anyone?)

First there was the Down Syndrome scare, which my doctor did everything possible to terrify me, even though the odds were still statistically very high. Then comes a diagnosis of gestational diabetes, which, by the way, SUCKS. Nothing is worse than being on a diet WHILE PREGNANT. (Jared thought I was crabbby when I could actually eat carbs) Checking my blood 4 times a day isn't great either, and I fully anticipate being put on medicine today at my appointment because my pancreas just can't keep up with the my insulin demands. With 7 weeks to go, I could very well be giving myself insulin shots before we're done.

Fortunately, Jack and Spencer are old enough to help me get by with the bare bones housework, because that is all that is being done. After getting breakfast and kids off to school I go back to bed for an hour while Ethan and Olivia play. (I'm not actually sleeping because I'm playing referee for E & O's various spats during this time) I finally get enough energy to try a shower, but after that feat, it takes another 15 minute "rest" to have the energy to stand up and blow dry my hair. I don't really know why I bother, it'll just get messed up when I take my afternoon nap...

So, if I've gotten my 2 naps earlier in the day, I usually have exactly an hour and a half of energy by the time the boys get home to help with homework, dinner, and maybe a load of laundry. We have actually switched to only paper plates and bowls to cut back on dishes. However, if Jared is not home from work by the time this hour and a half is up, the kids have to go up stairs (they know I won't bother climbing them) to avoid the still hungry, tired ranting woman downstairs.

So this is the new routine in the life of a woman of "advanced maternal age". I have to keep looking at the precious little face in our ultrasound picture on the fridge to keep myself from jumping in our still frozen pond. Of course, I just still may whack the doctor with his stethoscope if he says one more thing about my age today...

By the way, I'm 36.

This video is really for Elaine, our "advocate" for Spencer. She is going to use it to help evaluate me as a tutor, and to see Spencer's progress. I kept locking up my email trying to send it that way, so I figured the easiest would be to post it here! Of course, if you are desperate for amusement, please feel free to view it.

Spencer and I try to work about 20 min everyday using Orton-Gillingham methods to help his "decoding" skills, and this is the portion of the lesson where we try to practice reading fluency. He is preparing to do a "read aloud" in school to his class, and wanted to show Aunt Elaine how well he is doing. I am so proud of how hard he is willing to work before (and sometimes after) school to improve. He has made HUGE progress this year and is really getting starting to taste the fruits of his labors. It has been fantastic to see.

The case for a flat panel TV

Jared has business meetings downtown all week and will be staying in a hotel. They were trying to think of "team building" games they could play when they took breaks, so Jared suggests bringing our Ninetendo Wii for everyone. (I will refrain from my usual comments regarding this) So this morning, he unhooked the wii and packed it, assuring Ethan that after he got out of the shower he would hook up our old nintendo for him to play. Unfortunately, Ethan didn't want to wait that long, and attempted to turn around our rather large TV, and hook it up himself.

Yup. You know what happened. Who knew a pregnant woman could hoof it up stairs so fast?

Anyhoo, after a rush trip to the Dr. and an x-ray, there were no broken bones, just a nicely bruised arm that will likely be sore for a couple of days. It could have been much worse.

I just thought it was funny that Jared thinks he has finally found the perfect justification for buying a flat panel TV. *sigh* I think in a couple days he might realize the flaw in his argument. Or at least in his timing. Then again, I am sure any other husband gets his logic perfectly.

Raising Responsible Boys (?)

So this past Sunday we had some people over from the ward for dinner. He works in Human Resources for a company, and was telling us how the latest trend is for an applicant's PARENT to accompany a child INTO an interview. He was saying how when he "declines" a parent's request to be in the room during the interview (with an adult, college graduate 'child') he has had complaints that other companies allow it, and why wouldn't they? In some cases, the parent and grown child, have LEFT, without an interview. If that's not bad enough, usually the customary, follow up phone call from a potential canidate is made BY THE PARENT to see the status of the application!

I thereby made further resolutions to NOT tether myself to my children. Of course, being a fairly lazy parent as it is, and given the sheer volume of children we have, I think my risk is perhaps less than may exist in other personalities. Nonetheless, I feel a need to publicly deepen my resolve to avoid behaviors that may contribute to this. I confess I do still have a very difficult time not "rescuing" Jack or Spence with the forgotten french horn or lunch money, but I am getting a little better. Of course, being called the meanest mom on the planet is not easy. However, I am taking a few 'baby steps' to at least ease my conscience on some fronts.

So, my success of the week is, after being wearied of it being MY fault they are late for school, I GAVE Jack and Spencer my alarm clock. (No, not Ethan, but my actual clock clock) I showed them how to set it, how to turn it on, and off. I told them they were old enough to get themselves up for school, and it would be THEIR responsibility. I went to bed Sunday night wondering how long I should let them sleep, whether to wake them up in time for the bus, etc. wondering if my idea was frustration or inspiration. Well, by golly, Monday morning, I awoke to the sound of Spencer (already dressed) getting out a bowl for cereal, all by himself. When I walked down the hall I met Jack (already dressed) coming out of the bathroom!!!! It has now been 3 blissful mornings of them taking care of themselves! I have an entire 15-20 minutes more time saved not trying to drag them out of bed, and on some days, even make breakfast! WAHOOOO!!!

Other baby steps have been teaching them (the boys) how to tell the hairstylist how to cut their hair (what size clipper, round or square neck, sideburns or no) You should see the stylists face when they ask me, and I tell them to ask the boys. In fact, today when I took Olivia for her haircut she told me she wanted a #2. I assured her, she did not.

Additionally, they can order for themselves in a restaurant, and RSVP themsevles to birthday parties.

Of course, I would rather have a root canal than try to get them to clean something without me bursting a blood vessel. I still cannot get the concept across that it takes the same amount of time to throw clothing in a laundry basket, as it does on the floor. Star charts, etc. are not my thing. Then again, neither is cleaning.

I'm not sure they'll ever actually be neat or organized. I don't know if they'll ever stop chewing with their mouth open, or understand the concept of a napkin. But, at least they will not be afraid to speak up and look the waiter in the eye when ordering.

Any further ideas at teaching responsibility that do not involve buying a dog are gladly welcome.

Extraordinarily specific and thoroughly tested comments only please.

P. S. I'll shoot myself if I hear "they just have to be trained" one more time. (Napkin example: case in point)