Raising Responsible Boys (?)

So this past Sunday we had some people over from the ward for dinner. He works in Human Resources for a company, and was telling us how the latest trend is for an applicant's PARENT to accompany a child INTO an interview. He was saying how when he "declines" a parent's request to be in the room during the interview (with an adult, college graduate 'child') he has had complaints that other companies allow it, and why wouldn't they? In some cases, the parent and grown child, have LEFT, without an interview. If that's not bad enough, usually the customary, follow up phone call from a potential canidate is made BY THE PARENT to see the status of the application!

I thereby made further resolutions to NOT tether myself to my children. Of course, being a fairly lazy parent as it is, and given the sheer volume of children we have, I think my risk is perhaps less than may exist in other personalities. Nonetheless, I feel a need to publicly deepen my resolve to avoid behaviors that may contribute to this. I confess I do still have a very difficult time not "rescuing" Jack or Spence with the forgotten french horn or lunch money, but I am getting a little better. Of course, being called the meanest mom on the planet is not easy. However, I am taking a few 'baby steps' to at least ease my conscience on some fronts.

So, my success of the week is, after being wearied of it being MY fault they are late for school, I GAVE Jack and Spencer my alarm clock. (No, not Ethan, but my actual clock clock) I showed them how to set it, how to turn it on, and off. I told them they were old enough to get themselves up for school, and it would be THEIR responsibility. I went to bed Sunday night wondering how long I should let them sleep, whether to wake them up in time for the bus, etc. wondering if my idea was frustration or inspiration. Well, by golly, Monday morning, I awoke to the sound of Spencer (already dressed) getting out a bowl for cereal, all by himself. When I walked down the hall I met Jack (already dressed) coming out of the bathroom!!!! It has now been 3 blissful mornings of them taking care of themselves! I have an entire 15-20 minutes more time saved not trying to drag them out of bed, and on some days, even make breakfast! WAHOOOO!!!

Other baby steps have been teaching them (the boys) how to tell the hairstylist how to cut their hair (what size clipper, round or square neck, sideburns or no) You should see the stylists face when they ask me, and I tell them to ask the boys. In fact, today when I took Olivia for her haircut she told me she wanted a #2. I assured her, she did not.

Additionally, they can order for themselves in a restaurant, and RSVP themsevles to birthday parties.

Of course, I would rather have a root canal than try to get them to clean something without me bursting a blood vessel. I still cannot get the concept across that it takes the same amount of time to throw clothing in a laundry basket, as it does on the floor. Star charts, etc. are not my thing. Then again, neither is cleaning.

I'm not sure they'll ever actually be neat or organized. I don't know if they'll ever stop chewing with their mouth open, or understand the concept of a napkin. But, at least they will not be afraid to speak up and look the waiter in the eye when ordering.

Any further ideas at teaching responsibility that do not involve buying a dog are gladly welcome.

Extraordinarily specific and thoroughly tested comments only please.

P. S. I'll shoot myself if I hear "they just have to be trained" one more time. (Napkin example: case in point)