Wednesday, November 3, 2010

What you Dream if you have 4 sleep deprived nights and then decide you need to go to an hour long Zumba class.

Your dream starts off with really, really craving Frosted Sugar Cookies. In part because after looking at the Zumba instructor and several other attendees, you realize that if you want to fit in here, you need to stop eating them, and you figure you'd better go get some while your metabolism is recently kicked up.
You then decide that as long as you're at the famous Carlo's Bakery (you did know that's where you were, right?) that you need to sample a few of those luscious cakes. So you pick out a few to take home.
Then you realize you can't possibly carry them all on your own to your car, so you ask the friendly employee for help. You are beginning to get nervous about how your husband is going to look at you as you walk in with all these cakes, and try to start thinking of a logical explanation. In a nano-second you realize there isn't one, and you decide to put that out of your mind for now. Must. Get. Cake.s.
She walks with you to a separate building where the cakes are actually made, and you start passing by all the bakers as they are leaving for the day.
"Wow!" you think. "That was FRANKIE!"

But then, be still my heart, headed the same direction you are, is none other than the host of Cake Boss, (steel yourself)

But you are cool, collected. You brush with celebrities every day. "Hi, Ryan!" you casually remark as you descend the stairs alongside him. Ah, yes. "He must be impressed with how easy-going I am. Not one of those awkward gawkers." But finally, as you are about to part ways in a hall, you figure, "I really ought to take a picture. To show the kids." So in your coolest mom voice you say, "Would you mind if we took a picture?"
He graciously consents.
As you hand your cell phone to the nice girl helping you, you become suddenly self-conscious of exactly how outdated your phone actually is.

Then Ryan Seacrest puts his arm around you, and you can't help but notice that he is holding you especially close, and especially tight. You are about to say something about your husband, lest he begin thinking the two of you might have a future, when your 6 year old daughter wakes you up.

You know, the 6 year old daughter who had to come home from school after throwing up, even though you insisted her tummy didn't really hurt this morning? It couldn't after all.

You needed to go to Zumba.

*I swear on my love of Sugar Cookies I do not have any actual attraction to Ryan Seacrest.
But if I was 14 I might.