Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Bizee with a capital Bee

(The blessed sources of all this busyness)

(busy dancing girls)

Welcome! You must be a devoted friend if you still bother to check for new posts on my blog. Either that, or you are seriously spending too much time on the internet.

You see, things have been busy around here. For a long time. Like, warp speed. And I don't know what to do about it.

I used to really hate when people would say to me, "Ugh, I'm just so busy!", as if it was a badge of superiority. Surely, someone so busy must be very important indeed. Or have an identity dependent upon living in crisis. While I wasn't wondering what I could fill my week with, I didn't feel that busy.

Seriously. Sure, I had one, two, five children, but we had a pretty simple life. Our sports/music lessons/karate club involvement was pretty close to non-existent. My house was (is) not perfectly kept. I don't make (have) time for hobbies, so really, we just did our thing. As the number of children increased, so did the length of my "to-do" list, but not overwhelmingly so.

Until about last May. I'm not quite sure what happened, but we crossed some invisible threshold.

We were suddenly moving. The one year old was walking, the three year old wouldn't stop talking. The teenagers were balking, and the middles were stalking. (me, that is. "M-ahmmm, can I _________?" "Ma-hhhhm....")

My husband disappeared into his new job. My dream house disappeared along with all our equity. My mom was sick. The kind of sick that would make her disappear too. My finally organized household needed to be reshuffled completely, along with finding new schools, new dentists, new doctors, new dance studios, new grocery stores, new utility companies, new banks, new friends. We've got toddlers to teenagers, whose hours are not compatible with my physical need for sleep.

Now I find myself saying, "I'm just so busy!" like all those other people. Which I really hate, because it's like saying, "I just don't have time for you."

Which is why I haven't blogged most of this. Because I'm so busy. But I haven't been able to bring myself to pull the plug, because I really feel like there is so much I want to share, and say, and be. All this busyness has got to get under control.

Hasn't it?