I have long struggled to keep my home to the cleaning standards that were my mothers. I have gone over, around, and through why I can't seem to maintain the same degree of excellence. I have told myself there were weekly housekeepers (2 actually) who worked alongside her, a and guy to do the yard. Her greatest hobby was "organizing", and I don't ever remember her sitting to watch TV or a movie without the ironing board set up in front of her. I don't remember her doing anything leisurely at all, in fact. She was always cleaning, organizing, or decluttering something.
Fast forward to me. While I was never slovenly, and loved the order around me, I was personally responsible for a very small portion of it. Too small I realized, and decided that my children would share in some of the responsibility for their benefit as well as mine. Hence, for the last 12 years, I have tried again and again to train them how to do what needs to be done to attain the same order. I have failed to achieve consistent results. I do accept the blame for this one, as I can't seem to figure out who else's fault it is. I am still trying to accept the fact that it is okay that I am not willing (apparently) to do what it would take to make my house constantly spotless for whatever reasons, despite the fact that it torments me.
Fast forward to yesterday.
My eldest child, who shall remain nameless, was loading the dishes into the dishwasher. (SEE! I am getting them to help some!) said to me, "I have made a New Year's Resolution for our family."
I said, "Really? What do you think it should be?"
"I think we should try to keep our house clean
like normal people,
like you know the ______'s or the ________'s."
Poor child. He should never have said this to a woman who is 8 months pregnant with her 6th baby.
I said, "So, (nameless child), if you want a clean house like normal people, you can start by putting your dirty clothes in the laundry like I'm always asking, or clearing your own dishes, or putting your shoes away, or taking out the garbage when it's your chore and not accidentally 'forgetting' half the cans in the house, or stuffing candy wrappers into the couch cushions, or etc, etc, etc." (You get the idea)
That phrase tormented me (and resulted in me tormenting everyone else) for the rest of the evening. But guess what?
When I got up this morning, I found that the nameless child had made his bed, all on his own, for the first time in recent memory.
I think there may just be a glimmer of hope in my future.
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3 comments:
Also, your mother didn't have 6 kids and an oft-absent husband (did she?) I've concluded after trying to herd Jennie W's kids that cleanliness is impossible with a big family until the youngest is 13 or older.
Also, you spend lots of time being a cuddly mom. Was your mom as involved with you as you are with your kids? (See, I'm TRYING to come up with excuses. Maybe you are too beautiful to be immaculate?)
Oh boy! yeah, that would've hit a nerve with me too....ha ha! I think most "normal" people DONT have immaculate homes. (I think).
I PRAY that most "normal" people have homes just as normal as your or mine (or Natalies). We pick up when we can, play with our kids A LOT, and get around to MOST of it... We shouldn't worry too much about the rest (and I only have HALF the amount of children :)
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