No particular reason.
I knew something was amiss, but wasn't fully cognizant of my temperament until about 5 minutes before loading everyone in the car for school.
It dawned on me that everything I had said all morning, regardless of intent, came out more like snarl than an instruction or question.
Yes, Jared's been out of town, but he's not usually part of my morning routine anyhow. I had plenty of sleep. When I started crying on the way home thinking of what an unpleasant mother I am, it hit me.
I'm a walking horomone today. I feel tired to my core. I want to cry just thinking how tired I feel. As Susie had gotten up extra early, she went down for her nap early as well and I joined her. I had angry dreams for 2 1/2 hours. (All I remember really is throwing a bunch of dishes at my husband because HE wasn't "mad enough" about something I thought he should be madder about) I woke up still feeling crabby. And tired.
And so I've decided. Even though I must venture out in public to buy sustenance for my family today, I am to speak to NO ONE. I am not to try to redeem coupons, and I definitely cannot go to WalMart (as previously planned). It's all about survival. (For anyone in my path. Kind of like Edward in TWILIGHT)
I will post photos of my earlier triumphs this week. Apparently, all my expended energy to vacuum everything in sight and clean out cupboards/closets you previously could not OPEN, has caught up with me. I need to remind myself why I feel like this, and to console myself that if the kids toy room has looked this bad for this long, it can wait for another day...
This closet was formerly practically impossible to open. 2 bags of trash and one bag to Goodwill later...I could move in.
We'll see how long the "under the sink" magic lasts, but isn't it pretty?
2 comments:
I'm sorry!
(Your closets and cupboards really are pretty.)
Bless your sweet heart! I'm sure the Lord MUST take hormones into account on Judgment day! (It wouldn't be fair, otherwise!)
I got a hint from a book I read the other day on what to do with internal chaos, self-accusation, depression, etc. I tried it and it has worked splendidly 5 or 6 times this week.
When you feel awful, shut the world out of your mind long enough to imagine yourself as a little 4-year-old girl sitting on the Lord's lap. Imagine Him telling you how precious and beloved you are, and listening with patient sympathy to all your problems. Keep the image going as long as necessary. Works for me!!
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