Boo!

Jack was a classic. Dream job costume. Spencer? A "smartie" pants.
Illustrating the differences between male and female, "scary guy" and "flower fairy"
Susannah the fierce lion, with her fairy friend.
The ultimate power couple...

Blindness of our Minds

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you were completely blinded by what you were actually doing? You know, the times when you used noble words like "committed", "faithful", "true", "loyal", "right"? Those times when your opinion of yourself and your actions is justified, and even noble. You reinforce your justification of your chosen course by telling yourself that your actions, though "not understood" by people whom you would normally respect, are higher and nobler than they can possibly understand. Our superior understanding of the situation, and more importantly, our intentions gird up and fortify our objective. Hence, we proceed to move forward, blinded by WHAT WE WANT, not seeing the potentially devastating consequences.

I have a LOT of examples of this in my life. I was convinced I wanted to marry a certain young man for whom I'd wasted 2 years "waiting" while he served a mission. Never mind that any logically thinking person could see once he got home and we were together what a stupid match it would be. No. I WANTED IT. There was no reason a girl like me and boy like him couldn't have what we wanted.

Then there was the time I WANTED to have a picture perfect, Martha- Stewart- Envy- Inducing- Cookie -Exchange, and dadgum if I wasn't going to MAKE it happen. I spent hours scouring the internet, coming up with all the right details, including "The Rules". (Any self respecting cookie exchange surely has rules to keep it from falling into the flotsam of a Homemaking Meeting Potluck) So naturally, when a girl I visit taught* called 2 hours before the party to tell me her cookie press had broken, and would it be okay if she came with (gasp) no cookies, I TOLD HER "NO".

So how is it that at this stage in my life I can look to these examples and identify them as times when my mind was "blinded"? What finally "snapped me out of it"?

Sometimes, someone else makes the choice for us. Missionary? HE broke up with ME. (Unthinkable, I know) In that case, reality slapped me hard across the face and gave me no choice but to take it. It was not easy, or painless.

The cookie party? Stupidly, all I got immediately was a twinge of guilt.

It was quickly buried under a mountain of justification. "If she had only planned further ahead she could have avoided this." "It's not my fault her cookie press broke." "It's not fair that everyone else made 4 dozen cookies and has to share them with her, who brought none." "I clearly stated the rules before the party." I even had to somehow bury the fact that there were probably more than 6 dozen cookies leftover and that everyone felt they had more than they would ever use. I managed to not even pack some up and take them to her with an apology. No, I just brushed it under the rug. I sought approval of my atrocious behavior from trusted friend. She gently tried to tell me I probably should have told her to come anyway, but I even managed to eliminate that guilt by telling myself that trusted friend didn't hold the same "standards of excellence" I was seeking for the evening.

I am afraid to report that the incident didn't strike me with it's proper horror until a much later time, when I felt snubbed from a group for not being able to contribute "properly". ("She brings a bag of chips to a potluck where everyone else brought something that took all morning to make? Let's not tell her about our next one...")

So how do we wake ourselves up to the blindness we live in TODAY? How do we avoid creating such misery for ourselves, and people we claim to care about?

I keep coming back to the idea that at the moment I find myself justifying ANY behavior, I am putting the blinders on. If my action was in course with what I knew to be right, or good, or true, I would not need to justify it for any reason. I never have to justify being kind. I never feel I have to justify being generous, or loving, or charitable. In fact, I am rewarded by feeling good. I don't have time to bother coming up with reasons why what I was doing instead WAS good.

What do you think? How have you been woken up to your "blind times"? Is there something blinding you now? Do you know what it is? How do you get out of it?

*In the Mormon Church women are assigned to each other (2 to 1) to look after and care for each other. As a "Visiting teacher" you are to visit or contact the person you visit teach at least once a month to see if she has any needs you can help with, and be a friend in general.

Only for Women who have been Pregnant....

I have this recurring symptom of pregnancy that I can't recall ever having anyone else claim to be able to relate to. Having begun its onset MUCH earlier than usual, I thought I would take an informal survey of my friends to see if anyone else has had this that I just haven't run into yet.

(This just doesn't sound like it's going anywhere good, does it?)

I call it "the wishbone effect". That is, I feel like my legs are the two sides of a wishbone, and my pelvis where they meet. The uncomfortable part is, I feel like someone is trying to break the wishbone. This usually happens while walking around (naturally). I have heard some people say towards the later months they feel like their joints are "wobbly" or "loose", but this is actually painful. Like, my face involuntarily grimaces kind of pain. I've had this before, but never this early.

Anyone?

Seriously?

My doorbell just rang while I was fixing dinner.

6th grade neighbor, whom recently pitched me Happenings books, pizzas, cookie dough, and chocolates wanted to know if I wanted to buy raffle tickets for the homecoming football game.

I said, "No, thank you.'

Aren't there child labor laws?

Warning: This post contains a gripe

Today is September 30. The first day of school here was September 8. By my calculation, that means school has been in session for 22 days.

I have had children in my neighborhood ring my doorbell for THREE different fundraisers for the SAME SCHOOL. The first knock came, I kid you not, within 30 minutes of the bus dropping them off the FIRST DAY. That means that on the first day of school, they found time for an assembly to make salespeople out of them. Priorities I suppose. (That does not count the overlap from the 8 children in the neighborhood, all selling 3 different things, for a total of 24 solicitations in 22 days)

Not only do I NOT need, or want, overpriced Happenings Books (that contain coupons for places at least 2 counties away), disgusting cookie dough (I know, I've tried it the last 2 years), or frozen (cardboard) pizzas.

On top of all this, 2 years ago a bond was passed that increased our property taxes to help fund the schools. The irony of course is, that my children do not even ATTEND these schools. (Never mind that the district still gets the $14,000 in funds for the transportation they do not provide us ...) I remember the first year we were here our children did attend this school. I also remember one of them in TEARS because I wouldn't let them go door to door to sell, and hence, they could not win the limo ride to McDonalds for being the top salesperson.

My children (thankfully) attend charter schools that manage to produce outstanding test results with a fraction of the funds that the other local schools provide. Better yet, they have never pimped my children to PAY for any of it. Are there fundraisers? Yes. But guess what? I get clothing they can wear to school for the money! I have bid on items I actually WANTED at auctions in order to raise money for the PLAYGROUND our state funds will not afford us!

If my memory serves me, before Christmas I will also receive solicitations for "Butter Braids" ($12.00 a pop) and wrapping paper. I'm going to JUST SAY NO!!!

I am so glad I am able to send my children to a school where the education is the priority. I think all anyone else is doing is training a door to door sales force. Heaven knows with the education they get at school, that's all they'll be able to do.

My Next Life will be a Musical

I am the youngest of five children. My parents had a 17 year age difference, which means my father was a teenager of the Great Depression (not kidding), and my mother was a teenager in the 50's. One of the results of this, was they both loved to watch old Musicals, and I, not having much choice in the matter, watched lots of them with them.

We lived in a small town and I was convinced that outside of our small town, it was perfectly normal for people to burst into song and dance spontaneously. How delightful! I couldn't wait until I could move someplace where this was daily life. But when I hit second grade, I decided I could wait no longer. I, seven year old Tiffany Crabtree, decided it was time to bring the joy of Musicals to life at Paradise Elementary School.

It was a rainy day, which meant we had indoor recess in Mrs. Dimas' second grade classroom. I remember a popular toy was a set of paper dolls. Naturally, a squabble broke out between a couple of girls over who got the dolls, and I decided what we needed was a song. Preferably one that would end with all of us dancing on top of our desks.

So, the heroine that I was, stood on top of my desk and with all the earnestness of my heart started singing (to some made up melody) "Don't fight..." I was a bit stunned to find that no more words came out of my mouth. There was no music starting. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to sing next. Nobody else was joining me. Instead they all just stared. I got down from the desk, my first pangs of harsh reality creeping into my little heart. Was my life never going to be a musical? What a dread and dreary thought.

To compensate I majored in Music Dance Theater in college. It helped ease the pain. When the movie "Enchanted" came out, I knew I was not alone in my hope of a better world. (In fact, I will turn on the Central Park scene in that movie whenever I am feeling blue. Whistling a happy tune just doesn't work if you can't whistle)

But last night, I definitively decided that whether my non-singing, non-dancing husband likes it or not, I am living my next life in a Musical. With the kids. So there.

We took all of them ('cept Susie of course) to Mary Poppins. Delightful. Inspiring. Magical. And my kids thought so too. The only thing better than loving something so much, is to see your kids love it too.

If you get a chance to catch the tour in your town, DONT' MISS IT! It's super-cali-blah, blah, -yeah, you know.

PS I am in no way ashamed or embarrased by that story. It just confirms that I'm onto something...

More pics