A Pat on the Back

I doubt I am the only mom who has a chronic condition which consists of feeling like "I didn't get anything done today." "Anything" being defined as "something I can show someone else".
However, I have found that a result of having had 3 weeks of domestic help, being followed by 3 weeks of Jared being gone, or us being on "vacation" with the kids, has shown me that I do A LOT.
I have never had the opportunity (or option) to NOT do the things I do do (those "invisible" tasks). But being home this week, and finally trying to pick up where I left off pre-baby, has been rather eye opening. It's the first time in a while I have done what I normally do. Just the usual, dishes, laundry, supervising meals, bedtimes, stories, church calling, fight referee, tutor, etc. etc. is quite exhausting to get back into. Of course, now I've added a whole other person to the mix who needs to be diapered, fed, soothed, bathed, burped, etc.
So I'm thinking, that for the first time ever, there is a small part of me that just might believe Jared or Shauna when they try to reassure me that I DO do a lot, and I'm not just some slacker mom who can't seem to do everything else, "everyone else" is able to do!
So, if you're like me, and I'm assuming you are, join me in giving yourself a pat on the back for all the dang hard work you do everyday that you don't give yourself credit for!

We're Back!

So, immediately after my last post, we got a call from our friends in Texas (Eric and Sara Bahr) inviting us to meet them at her parents cabin in West Yellowstone Montana! Of course, we said, "Sure!". It was so nice to get out for a while. Of course, a vacationing with a newborn isn't the perfect vacation, but it was a nice change of scenery, and the kids had a blast. I got a real treat however. In order to save gas money on the Suburban, Jared offered to drive himself and the oldest 4 in his company car, and have me and Susannah FLY! I actually couldn't appreciate how great a deal that was for me because I was so sure Jared would strangle them all before we met up, but I was seriously impressed with his endurance! Susannah was perfectly behaved on the plane (both ways) and I even managed to get through "TWILIGHT" on the trip!

Things have been extrememly busy since we got back, so I haven't had time to do a thorough unpacking, which means I need to find the card so I can download pics when I get them. Funny thing, the whole vacation I only took one pic of Susannah, because she was usually just sitting in her carrier or asleep while the kids did activities! Of course, lately, the camera has been working overtime in her behalf, so I suppose it helps balance things out a bit.

Newborn Funk

Today Susannah is officially 4 weeks old, and I am officially a little stir crazy! I am so dying to get outside in the nice weather and do fun things with my kids, like go to the zoo, or a movie, or swimming. I'm anxious to get back on a tutoring schedule with Spencer, to keep working with Ethan, to teach Jack how to do "money chores". I need to do laundry, shopping, cooking, pay the bills. But, instead I am trying not to "over do it" and doing a lot of "nothing" instead. Really, really boring. And lonely. It would be helpful if Jared was in town, but he's not. I have watched more DVD's in the last 4 weeks than the last 8 months. (Due to the fact that there's not much else you can do while nursing a baby or trying to settle her)

I really love holding her and looking at her, and not HAVING to do anything, so why is it so hard to just "do nothing"? Why can't I just "let go" of the laundry, the dishes, the phone calls, or church responsibilities? Why do I feel this rush to get up and moving again, to get on with the routine of my life? Why is it so hard just to BE? I am really not very good at that. I often wish I could suspend those sublime moments of motherhood so they would stay tangible and retrievable forever, and yet here I am fighting to rush past those moments in the hopes of attaining...what?

There's a song that Jared has on his ipod, and had I the skills I would make a link to it, but the lyrics say:
I'M IN A HURRY TO GET THINGS DONE
I RUSH AND RUSH UNTIL LIFE'S NO FUN
ALL I REALLY GOTTA DO IS LIVE AND DIE
I'M IN A HURRY AND DON'T KNOW WHY.

(Yes, that is a COUNTRY song, Jennie)
Anyone have any thoughts on the subject?

Thanks to Grandma Damiano and Aunt Shauna!

I failed to mention you by name, sorry! We love you and all you do! THanks a million!

A Domestic Goddess

This week marks the sad end of my having a personal Domestic Goddess. I used to think the term was "Domestic Helper", but having had one for the last 3 weeks, I have decided they should be promoted to near deity status. You see, another upside to a c-section was the tremendous outpouring of sympathy from my Mother-in-law and sister-in-law who stayed 2, and 1 weeks respectively to help out. Yes, the math is correct if you are thinking "What?! She had THREE weeeks of help?!". Lucky me, I know. Perhaps a little too profoundly do I know.
For now you see, I am on my own. YIKES. If I had only known how much I would miss them I would have abandoned the restraint I used to stop myself from physically throwing myself at their feet, begging them to please stay, while weeping piteously.
Even as I read this my pride and indepence cringe at the honesty of my despair, but I don't care! All those times I thumbed my nose at those lucky women who hire out domestic help, I can only now say I have been humbled. Yes, I am now just downright envious.
Forget the joy and satisfaction of hard work. Forget the joy of discipline, the satisfaction of independence. I just really, really want to sleep in and wake up to breakfast in bed, with the freshly washed laundry put away.
I guess I'll just have to have another baby...

"Olivabeth"

Okay, here's the deal-ee-OH. We have had a hard time deciding on a name for this baby since the start of this grand adventure. Much like the baby herself, there has been a great deal of flipping back and forth, with a true direction not being easy to find. But after 2 weeks with the truly beautiful name of "Elizabeth", it became apparent that it just wasn't working. In part due to the fact that the two female chidlren in our home were becoming known as "Olivabeth". So, at the risk of causing permanent psychological damage to practically everyone involved, we took the leap and have now officially "re-christened" her Susannah. (Susie being an acceptable alternative, anything else, not) Thank you for your cooperation in this matter, and we apologize for any inconvenience.

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