Birthday Pictures

Ethan's 6th Birthday!

Yesterday was Ethan's 6th Birthday, and we make every other year a "Family Birthday" so I don't have to do the whole party thing. (I have to say, the other may be less taxing, and possibly less expensive...) We did have a lovely time though. We dropped Grandma Damiano off at the airport (Thank you grandma for all your help!) then we went to The Original Panacake House for breakfast- super duper yummy! Then we went BACK to the airport to pick up Aunt Shauna! What a fun filled day, and it wasn't even noon yet!

Then we went to the Mall of America to let Ethan pick out a special toy from the Lego Store and a new pair of Crocs. Then home for some geo-caching adventures and cupcakes! Then he got to go to a FRIENDS birthday party at a bowling alley!

Aunt Shauna reportedly asked Ethan this morning if he felt different, being six. Older perhaps?

He responded, "Yeah. I almost feel like I have hair in my armpits."

I just love this boy.

Abundance

I just love abundance. I love the secure feeling of having lots of something, especially things like toilet paper and tape and batteries. Of course, having an abundance of some things, like say, debt, is not so fun, but in general, I love abundance. I'd like to try an abundance of cash sometime as well, I'm pretty sure that'd be fun.

But the type of abundance I really like these days is looking around at our family of 5. It just feels so much more satisfying than 4. Four never really felt like a lot of kids to me, but now with 5, it is a pleasant size little crowd of folks. An abundance of love, of kisses, of cute smiles, and big hugs. I just love having a lot of those.

So much to say, so few words to say it...

It is always interesting to bring home a new baby. Things are so different, but so right, so happy, yet so tiring. Each experience is unique, and each takes a big adjustment. Yet at the same time, it seems as if life without the new baby never really existed before, and you can't imagine that she hasn't always been a part of your family. That being said, we haven't tried to all leave the house and be punctual anywhere yet, so I'm sure it will feel a lot different at that point.

Thankfully, in the most lifesaving of ways, Jared's mom is here and is a tremendous help. Better yet, she is staying until next Friday, at which point Shauna will come and help for another week. Altogether, I can't say I've ever had so much help, for so long, and so it has been a really great transition. I am trying to let go of feeling lazy and self concious about someone else doing everything I'm used to doing, and just relax and enjoy it, which, most of the time, I am. I feel very lucky I've been able to spend so much time just sitting with Elizabeth and enjoying her. That is always the best part of a brand-new new born, and after your first, you usually don't get that again, so it is a huge blessing. I suppose that has to be the upside of a c-section, you have the doctors blessing to really not do anything.

As far as the c-section goes, I am not a fan. I really had no idea before (though I didn't care to find out) how much more of a pain it is to recover, literally. I kept asking the nurse at the hospital, "Is it always this bad?" To which I got my favorite answer, in so many words, that "Advanced Maternal Age" makes everything harder. I should have seen that one coming.

I have always (as crazy as it may sound) really enjoyed the labor and delivery part of having a baby. (Epidural as my friend of course) I just felt like it was me actively participating in bringing this child into the world, and I never realized how bonding that was for me to the baby. I remember with Jack the exhilaration I felt when he finally came out, and that I had done this for him as his mother. It was the culminating experience where all the misery of pregnancy was finally accomplished, and I was able to feel the reward of my efforts. I guess its like the exhilaration of finishing a marathon, or so I've heard... only so much better because you have this whole new person to show for it. Plus, you get to hold them instantly, and watch and see everything that is going on with the baby.

Jared on the other hand, hates that scenario. He can't stand the uncertainty, the feeling of being utterly powerless to help or control anything going on, and most especially, the "smells and the mess". He hates seeing me in agony and not being able to do anything about it, and holding my hand and counting just doesn't cut it.

So, I was very concerned for him going into the c-section, because if the blood thing grosses him out, the O-R was not going to be a great place for him. He kept insisting however that it would be great. I personally knew I would not like it. I do not like feeling like a third party to my body, and having everyone in the room see and know what was going on except me was very disconcerting.

However, there was simply no other option. The day was a very emotional roller coaster of "she's breech, now she's not, she's breech, now she's not..." I even opted to give it one last effort of a version, which is where the doctor turns her from the outside. We did this a few weeks ago, and it wasn't hideous, so I wanted to try again and see if she'd stay this time. Well, this time, it WAS hideous. I can see now that I was the only person in the room who had any hope that this would work, given the baby's history, but at least they were very kind in supporting my decision to give it one last try. I just sat there and cried when I realized it a c-section was unavoidable. I tried to come around and just face the music, but I was still so very disappointed when I went into the O-R. It is very difficult to have, and look forward to, one version of events, only to have another come to pass. It is all good though, the most important thing being that she was perfectly healthy. As a result of her flipping so much in the womb, she had the cord wrapped all around herself, including her neck, so it's a good thing I didn't get my way.

It was interesting though, that for Jared, the experience was his best yet. For once he felt like things were orderly and controlled, and he watched with wonder as she was pulled from the uterus, got to hold her first, and participate actively in the nursery with her. I am grateful that if it wasn't exactly what I had hoped for, that he at least got to have a really great experience. Out of 5 kids, I suppose its only fair he have one birth experience that he felt was really special for him. Thankfully, he did videotape her being "pulled out", which I am really grateful I can watch. I really hated missing that part, and it was nice to see, even if I missed it the first time. I'm also highly impressed he didn't pass out.

SHE IS HERE!

Elizabeth Damiano is here!

May 28th, 2008 at 11:29PM.

7lbs 5oz and 18 1/2 inches long.

Pictures

More to come....

Another broken "promise"

I apologize for not posting a picture. Long story, I couldn't find the electronic device necessary to connect my camera to the computer.

I had intended to do a lot of things today. For example, post a picture of me all glowing and perfectly coiffed as we arrived at the hospital to deliver baby #5! Next I intended to post a picture of aforementioned baby NEXT to that picture. Alas, the "on again, off again" thing with this pregnancy continues....

The good news is, she appears to be healthy, and unlike 24 hours ago, head DOWN in the launch position. Bad news, she failed her amnio and her lungs are not developed enough to deliver, even if I am 38 1/2 weeks. Also, I now get to call pretty much everyone I've ever met and tell them, uh, no, we HAVEN'T "had that baby yet", all those appointments etc. I canceled today and tomorrow, even some next week, they're back ON again. In fact, I may go all the way to June 2nd now, even if MIL leaves on June 5th.

SOOOOO, in the spirit of gratitude, here is a list of things to be GLAD about today:

1. She appears to be healthy, just not fully cooked. (My womb is no convection oven)
2. Jared got the day off.
3. Someone else is still bringing dinner.
4. I got to go to a 'kid free' lunch with Jared.
5. I got to forget my diabetes rules last night and this morning and gorge on glorious, non- complex carbs.
6. I am using my MIL as a babysitter this weekend so I can go to a hotel with Jared and do NOTHING but relax.
6. My regular Dr. will be back in town for the delivery. (We think....)
7. After months of not, I found the motivation to shave my legs this morning.
8. I can finish the basement before she gets here

8.

Tantrum

Ok, so it's been an inexcuseably long time since I posted. It just seems that everytime I think about it I am far too tired to do it, or so crabby that I'm scared I'll come off like the raving madwoman I am. But, feeling both tired and crabby, here's an update.

The first, most urgent news on my mind is the latest from my Dr. appt. I am now 37 1/2 weeks, and for the last 3 weeks he has told me that between the diabetes and the baby being breech for a while (no longer, thanks to a not-pain-free turning) that I would be induced by the 24th of May. (Saturday of Memorial Day weekend) He assured us that he was working that weekend and that we could safely buy my mother in law's plane ticket for that date.

Well, apparently, his schedule changed. Now, things look SO good with the baby and me, that they will NOT induce until FIVE days later, on the 29th of May.

Sooo, it looks like we can all just "hang out" and wait for the baby while MIL is here. Please, don't try to console me with "maybe you'll go early" type sentiments. My womb is apparently like the Ritz Carlton, and each baby is extremly resistant to leaving, even being 10 days late and drugged with pitocin. Besides, I'll be 39 weeks at that time anyway, so that already IS early.

Just not as early as I'd finally allowed myself to believe. You know how it is when you've promised your kids something, and promised, and promised, and then when it comes time to deliver (no pun intended) you realize, "Oh, crap, this really WON'T work today!" and you have to tell them so? You know that fit you see them throw? Well, that's me today.

Lucky for Jared he's been out of town for 3 of the last 4 weeks. Pregnancy and I just do NOT like each other much the last 4 weeks.